Every October, for the last few years, I've felt like I've been cast adrift. While I still go through the motions of daily life, it's as if someone untied the rope and I am gradually floating away from the world and everything in it. I know it's because of the anniversary of my first pregnancy loss. The devasting day … Continue reading Embracing My Inner Hippie: How Nature Has Helped Me This Baby Loss Awareness Week.
I wrote this the week before Freya's third birthday but didn't post it. I held back partly because I didn't want to cast a shadow over her celebrations but mostly because I was worried it might seem like I didn't realise how lucky I was to give birth in a safe place to a healthy baby, which couldn't be … Continue reading Giving birth – was it the best experience I could have hoped for?
Trigger warning: Miscarriage, pregnancy loss and termination mentioned. Although I write for a living, the day I truly realised the power of words was as I was trying to get a "fit note" from the doctor. "So, you've had a termination," he said. It was like he had actually punched me, to the point I … Continue reading The One.
Trigger warning: Miscarriage/termination and pregnancy loss. Looking back now, I realise how naive we were; seriously thinking that the toughest decision we had to make was whether or not to try for a baby. We had talked about having children, as you do in that rather vague way when your relationship starts to get more … Continue reading “No,” she said.