Nursery Diaries – Week Four, Term One.

specialsticker

Parenting issues often seem to crop up in the most unexpected places – or at least that’s my experience so far.

Take week four at nursery. One day Freya came out of her classroom wearing a sticker which said: “Today’s special person”.

Cue celebrations. Lots of “I’m really proud of you”, “You’ve done so well”, “Let’s take a photo and send it to daddy” etc. Because surely this is a good thing?

We’ve had a bit of an issue with stickers.

For the first couple of weeks she was coming out wearing up to three but then they suddenly stopped. I asked her about it one day and she said it was because she was naughty. Obviously if she’s being a tinker I want to know about it but when I asked her teacher she said that wasn’t the case and that she would chat to Freya. I felt really good that I’d noticed a problem and it had been addressed. I’m not sure if the special person sticker was the result of that or not.

Anyway, I was still midway through praising her when Freya looked up and said: “Why aren’t I special every day?”

Erm…

It completely flummoxed me. I offered possibly my worst explanation yet with a rather flustered: “You’re special to me every day but at school being special means something different.”

Huh?

Luckily we were caught up in the hustle and bustle of home time and could move on but I carried on thinking about how to explain it properly to her.

Obviously I understand that the sticker is given to reward and motivate good behaviour but when I later tried to tell her that she said she was “good every day “*.

“Well if you keep it up, you might be made special person again one day,” I offered, lamely.

I’m not sure whether it’s the word “special” I am struggling with or the giving of the sticker itself – and the fact that I’m worried it might actually demotivate her – but something is blocking me from making sure she understands properly.

The following day she came out crying: “I wanted to be a special person again today.”

Argh.

“And that’s good,” I said. “That means you’re working really hard. Only one person each day gets to wear the sticker because that makes them special. It’s shared around your whole class and a different person gets it each day. If you carry on being good, it will be your turn again soon.”

I stressed how proud of her I was in general and that she is always my “special” person but I’ve got no clue if she still thinks she is being punished by not getting the sticker.

Any thoughts? Am I overthinking this?

*Blatantly not true but still.

nursery1

 

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Nursery Diaries – Week Four, Term One.

  1. Stickers and school created far more problems in our household than good. Just you wait until the class bear comes home and you have to provide a diary of what it does on its holidays. Everybody else before has taken the creature to Disneyland or the North Pole and you are taking it to rural Norfolk.

    Like

  2. Am I getting a bit stalker with my comments tonight? Sorry! Just catching up.
    This is absolutely why I think stickers and reward systems can be frankly, crap. Praise becomes hollow and in my experience more challenging children get greater reward, (as rightly they are rewarded for their positive behaviour.) yet those who exhibit consistent, outstanding behaviour aren’t rewarded as that’s how they always behave. *shrugs*
    Just spotted that fab comment above, that damn school bear gets to go in storm drains and bunkers with us. 😉

    Like

    1. You’re the nicest stalker I have ever had 🙂 I was waiting outside her class with the other parents and a couple of mums were saying how upset their child is about not being “special person”. One mum said he child had stolen a sheet of the stickers and was rewarding himself! Hopefully Freya won’t get any ideas. Hehe.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s