“When are you going to write your first novel?”
I was about 20 minutes into the interview with a wonderful author, with several successful books under his belt, when he turned the tables on me.
His question didn’t surprise me – there’s a quote “Every journalist has a novel in him – and that’s the best place for it.” – but his genuine interest in my novel, and an offer of help, did.
What followed was a wonderful discussion about writing – including the difficulties and the futility of it, along with the joy of turning random words into a story. I was left feeling incredibly uplifted by our conversation.
I’ve been thinking about it ever since.
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you will know that writing a book is a long-held, often talked about, dream but, while I talk a good game, where I falter is in actually putting pen to paper, which is kind of key.
So what is stopping me?
I’m a big believer in signs. I’m not sure who or what is sending them (and probably deep down I know they are just random or I see them because I’m searching for them) but I count magpies (and salute just one), I look for rainbows, I find numbers in water and collect coincidences.
In chatting with the lovely author, I said that my biggest problem was time. Isn’t that everyone’s problem these days? Who has time for a hobby when you’re a parent? But now, someone, somewhere, is trying to tell me something and I, unexpectedly, have some time.
What it comes down to.
After some more sound advice, my conversation with the lovely author finished with another question.
“How much do you want it?”
I do want it, a lot, but I’m scared, I guess. And I know that’s normal. I’ve been putting all these brick walls in front of me because I am worried I don’t have what it takes, that I’m not a good enough fiction writer (that’s not me fishing for compliments, honest), that my time could be better used elsewhere, that I will pour my heart into it and it will get broken.
Just recently I’ve been thinking, so what? The planets (or whatever) have aligned and now I have this chance that very few people get (no pressure) so I should just go for it, right?
Has anything stopped you from reaching a goal or doing something you think you want? How do you get around/through it? Does it all come down to how much you want it?