“Why are you rolling around on the floor?” I asked Freya. It’s not an uncommon sight but she seemed to be putting a lot of effort into making it look more agonising than usual.
“My heart…” she paused dramatically. “is broken.”
“Oh no, how did that happen?” I said, conversationally – paying no attention to her Oscar-winning performance.
“Because no one loves me anymore.”
That sound? My own heart shattering into a million little pieces (I wonder who she gets her sense of drama from?).
This happened on Friday afternoon, following her first week of mornings at nursery. We gradually built up the time each day until she was there for the full three hours.
She managed fine the first few days but by Friday it all got a bit too much, which was totally understandable given that she’s mostly been by my side for the last three years.
She went in with barely a goodbye, thanks to her new curly-haired best friend (who came with a lovely, friendly mummy who helped me so much last week) but apparently got really upset during the morning (to the point they were watching clips of mermaids on YouTube to cheer her up).
When I picked her up she was fine until we got out of the school gates and then she sobbed. It took ages to calm her down and there was lots of “Why did you leave me? Why don’t you want to look after me anymore? I called for you and you didn’t come”.
She even woke up from her nap, still half asleep, saying: “I just want my mummy, please let me see my mummy!” Gah! I picked her up and held on to her and, I admit, my eyes got a bit swimmy at that point – although luckily she didn’t see.
My poor little love.
Over the weekend I’ve tried to explain that just because I’m not with her doesn’t mean I don’t love her. Hopefully it’s getting through. She has been a mixture of upset and ragey with small glimpses of happy Freya. I know this is because her world has changed so much and she’s not really sure how to cope with it so I just try and ride it out.
I casually broached the subject of going to school with her yesterday and she seems quite keen – especially because she will see her friend again. She’s only going two days a week for now so hopefully she will have time to get used to it while still spending plenty of time with me.
Fingers crossed for week two.
If your little one has recently started nursery or school I hope they’re getting on ok. If you have bigger ones, can you tell me when I will stop looking at my phone approximately every three minutes just in case the school has called (and I didn’t hear it ring even though it’s on max volume)?
After The Rain 
It’ll be up and down, most likely… They’re so unique – but this all sounds normal as far as normal exists 🙂 Good luck!
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Thanks Jenny. How are things with you? Freya still loves looking at her Mollierabbit painting 🙂
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Oh, no. My heart ached just reading those words! I hope she starts feeling a bit more settled into her new normal this week, for her and for you. ♥
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Thank you. She seems to enjoy it once she’s there so that’s good at least. I hope your boys are all ok.
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aww sending hugs and a virtual coffee your way. *puts early years hat on*
Perfectly normal reaction for someone who has had their world as they know it completely tipped upside down. You could try adding a little order to her chaos by making her a picture schedule. Days of the week on the wall, photos for school, home, swimming (or any regular activities). Just serves as a visual reminder, restores a sense of routine and makes a positive talking point, ‘Yes, school tomorrow- oh and look, the library afterwards – how exciting.’ Etc
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Thank you! As you know I have taken up your suggestion and made her a chart (just need some Velcro to finish it off). I think you’re right, hopefully knowing what’s coming will make it easier for her. You rock 🙂
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Well I know the theory anyway. 😉
Picture scheduling has saved me many a tantrum over the years. 👍🏻
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Oh my! If that was me, I’d be tempted to keep her at home forever (cue over-bearing parent that causes her child to go into therapy! It’s probably a good job I don’t have kids!!) Aww, I hope she’s okay and gets passed it, which I’m sure we will.
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That was my first reaction! Hopefully she will settle otherwise I’ll be googling home schooling 🙂
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Clare has a great suggestion of a visual timetable. You could also use some kind if star chart each week as well. With a visit to library or ice cream shop etc on the last day each week. I used to take mine for donuts and sometime other mums and kids would come along too. As for the length of time for adjustment, it is very individual. But I suspect that in a few months you will be surprised at how accustomed you both have become to your new routine!
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Thank you. I’ve made one so we’ll see how it goes. I know it’s very early days so I’m just trying to give her as much love as possible and ride it out. Also, I didn’t get an email from you (just in case you sent it).
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Oh okay. I think it went to the wrong email. I omitted the full stop at the end. I will re send asap
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Tara, I went through that with my Dylan. It was at the babysitter’s and he would cry in the window when I left. It was a heartbreaker and it was the only thing on my mind at work all day. It did get easier…for both of us. I don’t remember the time period involved since it was fifteen years ago but with time Freya and you will adjust. I like the idea of gradually adding hours, that was clever. Try to make the best of the time you do share together.❤️
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Awww poor Dylan (and you). The good thing is she’s never cried on drop off and has been fine in class this week. It just all comes out at home. Hopefully she will settle soon enough. Thanks for your kind message 🙂
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Aw the poor little pet.
Although I sense a future on the stage or silver screen.
Thankfully I’ve a while to go until Little Miss OMG heads of to preschool.
#ftmob
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She wants to be a ballerina when she grows up so i’m sure the drama will help 😀 Thanks for commenting.
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Oh bless her Tara, that must be so hard to hear. Hope that you have managed to reassure her that she is still very, very loved and that nursery hasn’t changed that at all and that her second week goes well. Thank you for sharing this with #ftmob and sending you a big virtual hug too xx
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It was awful! I’ve been trying to reinforce the point that I love her all the time so hopefully it’s going in and sticking 🙂 Thanks for the hug.
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Aww bless her it’s so hard when they first start. We had z bawling every time I dropped him off. Then something clicked and he really loved it. Hope your second week is easier x
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Oh my goodness, I think that would be so much worse. I’m so pleased he likes it now. I know it will get easier but I wish it would hurry up 🙂 Thanks for commenting.
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Aww you poor things. I’m hoping it will be smooth sailing for us when Alex starts next April as he’s been in crèche since he was 11 months old, but I’m sure I’ll still effect him. I can’t believe our babies are starting school soon!
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I’ve just had to request a place for Freya in reception for September (cry). Couldn’t they have given me a couple more months to get used to nursery first?! Hopefully Alex will get the hang of it quickly, in that case. Freya had never been left with anyone but my parents before but thankfully hasn’t seemed to mind too much.
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