Life with a two-year-old (it’s a bit surreal).

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“Oh, hello Michael,” Freya said conversationally to a man in the entrance of M&S food hall. A man clearly not called Michael.

He looked bemused.

I smiled, a little apologetically, and gave a shrug that was meant to convey: “No idea what she’s on about. Kids, eh!” Mark turned to me with a frown and said: “What exactly do you get up to when I’m at work?”

Well, mainly, I grow ever more accomplished at that shrug.

***

“HELLO!” She shouts at the top of her voice as I push her (in her buggy) into our local co-op. It’s so loud and unexpected it makes me jump. The ladies on the checkouts laugh and wave back. One customer looks shocked, a few others chuckle.

When we go to pay Freya wishes the lady on the till a “Merry Christmas.”

It’s January 5th.

“I think you mean happy new year,” I said.

“Happy new ear,” she said.

“And happy new YEAR to you,” the lady says.

“Happy new ear,” Freya calls again. And again. And…

“Let’s say something else now,” I put in but then the lady behind us in the queue comes to the till and wishes Freya a happy new year so it starts again.

“Did you have a lovely Christmas?” She asks her.

“Great.” Freya responds.

“And were you a good girl? Did Father Christmas come?”

“I don’t like Father Christmas,” she is very definite about this.

“Did you get a lot of Frozen toys?” The lady asks, glossing over the slight to the big fella.

“LET IT GO!” Freya sings. Obviously most things are now said/sung at full volume.

The five of us join in with the next bit.

A man at the next till looks a bit taken aback at the flashmob (thankfully no one is videoing us).

I do the shrug as I wheel her past him.

***

My mum will often look at Freya, shake her head and say: “She’s been here before, that one.”

Usually after she has said something entirely out of character for a two-year-old.

For example, she was sat with her eyes closed once and when I asked what she was doing she said: “Just resting my eyes.” My poorly grandma used to say that. My brother and I would go and sit in her bedroom and she’d drift off after a time. Just to check she wasn’t dead (we were young) we’d ask if she was ok and that was always her response.

Also, sometimes when I ask her to do something she will bow slightly and say: “Yes, m’lady.” I thought I had misheard the first time but she does it consistently now. I can’t say I dislike it. It makes me feel like I’m in a Jane Austen novel.

My favourite, though, is when I ask for her help and she shouts: “I’m on it!” Like she’s working in some high-pressured job. This makes me chuckle every time.

“I don’t know where else she could get this stuff,” my mum ponders.

*shrug*

***

I still don’t know who Michael is.

 

Little Hearts, Big Love
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21 thoughts on “Life with a two-year-old (it’s a bit surreal).

  1. Love this! You can always rely on children to come out with nuggets of pure random – isn’t it funny how some children do have old souls though? I agree with your mum on this one 🙂

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  2. Brilliant! 😁 I love the “I’m on it”, won’t it be freaky many years from now if Freya married a ‘Michael’!
    The main thing I miss from my time working at the school was the random, bizarre conversations with the youngest kids. There was a great little lad who cracked me up everyday with the freaky statements he used to make, and like Freya they were the adult sounding phrases that you wonder, “where the hell have they heard that from!?”

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    1. It’s the strangest thing. We don’t know any Michaels. And she really says “I’m on it!” like she’s out to win that bonus at the end of the month. Hehe.

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  3. Haha, I love it! I also have to shrug at things my 2yo says in public – he loves yelling ‘hello’ where ever we go! I love the ‘I’m on it’ ! #ftmob

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  4. Brilliant post – this had me chuckling all the way through – love the random saying “hello Michael” to a complete stranger (who wasn’t even called Michael) and your shrug throughout the post – I think I might have a similar one! The flashmob singing “Let it Go” in the Co-op after Freya was asked about getting any Frozen toys made me laugh too – I can just imagine the scene! “Yes m’lady” sounds adorable – very quaint and very cute and what a contrast with “I’m on it!”. My dad used to say “Just resting my eyes” – I haven’t heard that phrase for years and reading about Freya saying it brought me right back to those days. Thank you for linking up to #ftmob 🙂

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  5. She sounds awesome. And yes, I agree with your Mum that she’s been here before. My son doesn’t have any quaint sayings any more but he’ll still often say tings like ‘ but that was before, when I was grown and had my own house. You weren’t the Mummy.’ He rarely offers more information though so the curiosity just eats at me!

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