If we were having coffee, I’d start by making sure you wouldn’t rather have a tea or hot chocolate or water. And that you were happy with the venue I’d chosen. That the seats were ok and that you wouldn’t be happier away from the door. Or in a comfy chair? Then I’d get cross with myself because I’ve wasted 10 minutes fussing when we’re probably both short of time and I really wanted to catch up with you.
I’d apologise for not doing this sooner. I feel like a terrible friend but the only times I’m without Freya, until now, are when I’m working or already have appointments booked – and if I brought her with me I’d spend the entire time attempting to get her to stay in her seat and I really want to listen and hear how you’ve been.
I miss our chats and I know you’ve had things going on that would probably have been good to share. I’m pleased that you have other people who have been there for you but sad because I feel I’ve let you down. And not just you but my other friends too. Sometimes it feels like I’m always letting someone down.
But now we’re finally here.
You tell me some of what has been going on with you. It’s been tough but you’re getting through it. You’re positive but then you always are. And you know what it’s like to be busy, to feel a bit like life is overtaking you sometimes so you tell me not to worry.
Now it’s my turn.
I make an effort not to just regale you with stories about Freya so I start by telling you how, despite all my fears and worries, I aced my MRI on my shoulder yesterday. Even though the scanner was smaller than the previous one (and my nose was about an inch from the top) it was open at both ends (the last one was solid at one end) and that seemed to make all the difference. There were a few moments when I had to talk myself away from the panic but I made it through the 30 minutes and felt very proud of myself afterwards. The results should be back in a week. Hopefully it is just a lipoma but because I’ve had the MRI we will know for sure. I’d tell you how lucky I feel that the health issues I’ve been having are (hopefully) not more serious and that I’m grateful to get them dealt with so easily because I know many other people are struggling at the moment.
What about work? You ask, knowing what a big part of me journalism has always been. I sigh a little, trying to work out how best to explain it. I stopped taking on any freelance jobs in November when I needed my eye op and because of my shoulder I haven’t gone out of my way to get back into things because I worry about having to cancel or postpone jobs and seem unprofessional. It’s the first time since I was 21 (aside from maternity leave and a month-long sabbatical) that I haven’t been working and I’m struggling a bit to just enjoy it because I feel guilty for not earning (not to mention I miss writing). I’m lucky I’m able to take a break, I know many people wouldn’t be able to, but then it isn’t without sacrifices – although I (we) gladly make them.
And then you ask about my favourite subject, Freya. I tell you how entertaining she is now and the fun we have. And that in a year she will be off to nursery and then school and it feels like the time to bond with her and shape her is slipping away from me, which is why it’s even more important I make the most of my time off. What about sleep? You ask. Hah! Still not much sleep, although it’s better than it was. She had a hospital appointment recently and now has to have skin prick tests for allergies and also see a constipation nurse (doesn’t that sound like a fun job?). Since we cut out the gluten though her behaviour has been so much better, just the usual two-year-old stuff rather than the uncontrollable angst of before. The doctor seemed a bit unsure that gluten was the problem but everyone noticed the difference in her, not just me. Mark commented that she’s my ideal companion because she loves being outside and going on adventures but she also likes crafting (and cooking) and reading and, very occasionally, just sitting still and having a cuddle.
Now we both glance at our phones to see the time. We’re late but I’m not sorry. It’s been so lovely to catch up. I promise not to leave it as long next time, although I know it probably will be. You tell me not to worry, again. That you know if I was really needed, I would do my best to be there. And I would.
**
I’ve seen several bloggers joining in with Part-Time Monster’s Weekend Coffee share and I thought I might have a go at it too. It seems like it might help me to get some thoughts down which wouldn’t make a blog post on their own. You can see what other people have been writing about by clicking the link.
After The Rain 
Oh Tara I’m sorry about that, I’m having issues trying to get to grips with my new set up. I wrote a long comment about your MRI scan and then it wouldn’t send. Anyway, I’m delighted you ACED it, I did think about you yesterday. Fingers crossed for the results. Ah this is a lovely post, I really enjoyed doing coffee with you, honestly I don’t mind meeting you at a soft play area next time ha! xx
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Thanks, Lisa 🙂 It was really strange. I was so nervous in the waiting room, especially when the techie told me the scanner was MUCH SMALLER than the previous one and I would probably struggle, but as soon as I got in the room with it, I felt really calm.
Very decent of you to say you’ll meet at softplay. I hope you don’t mind following Freya around though. She won’t go in on her own yet. Hehe.
I saw you’d switched sites. Have you gone self-hosted? It seems a bit complicated 😦
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Oh I don’t mind following Freya around at all, it would be a pleasure.
Being self hosting is proving to be a bit of a challenge to be completely honest Tara, now I’m not sure if that is because I really don’t know anything or because of the process. I think I am beginning to get it sorted but it has not felt like a smooth ride at all. I bet you are sorry you asked ha! But thank you for doing so xx
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Cuddle.
Hope the health things can get sorted soon xxx
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Thank you! I’ve finally found your new blog. Yay! I don’t know why it wouldn’t work before.
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Phew. It kept going “Hidden” 😦
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I am happy yo meet you. I have been GF since 1995 and most of my health issues t because I eat gluten all my life until 1995. I am so happy Freya will not ha e the problems I have had. Many those with Celiac Disease are also diabetic and dairy intolerant.
I believe in saving the environment and sure do not like the throwaway culture that exists today. For your shoulder and eyes take a look at the table top I got this week. It should help you..
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Lovely to meet you too. I’m amazed at the impact gluten can have on people – and a bit shocked her doctor doesn’t recognise it. Thanks for the table tip, I’ll take a look.
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It was just in the last few that medical science as recognized it. Good tasting food is available on the market.
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Time with kids certainly passes quickly and then there are times when it moves so slowly as well. Our eldest starts high school in just over a week and I don’t know where the time has gone. Don’t feel guilty for taking this time out of the workforce and giving yourself the chance to adjust to being a parent kindly. Their first year is precious but also very demanding. Perhaps, blogging can fill in the gap for you. It’s certainly working for me xx Rowena
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Thank you, Rowena. It’s such a strange feeling. I suppose there is a lot of pressure these days to be superwoman and do everything. I’m always moaning I don’t have time to blog so perhaps this will be a good chance to enjoy it 🙂
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My career has been side-swiped by my health problems and I fought it for a long time. In the end, I’ve had two years out of paid work but built up my blog and that’s not only kept me mentally challenged but my thinking has almost exploded from interacting with people right around the world everyday and getting to know people strangely more intimately than in person, despite it being a public forum. Go figure? There is so much pressure to be too many things and excel in each sphere and it’s just not feasible. Something or someone breaks. Ideally in my mind people would work 3-4 days a week. My husband worked 6 plus overtime last week…so much for a perfect world! xx Rowena
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Nice to meet another Tara. 🙂 And a journalist, too — I’m a former journalist and now a part-time freelance writer (down from full-time recently). I totally get the panic in the MRI. That would freak me out, too. Hope all turns out well. Have a peaceful week!
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I love meeting other Tara’s. I was the only one all the way through school and it still comes as a bit of a shock that other people are actually called it. Hehe.
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I was the only one I knew until high school. I remember having trouble finding things with my name on it as a kid — key chains, pens, etc. I’m happy it’s not so popular, though. 🙂
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Yes! Me too. Hehe. I still have some pencils with my name on because they had to be ordered.
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Hi! I’ve wandered over from the coffee share. Thank you for the chat. I enjoyed hearing about what you have been up to. My own children are young adults and I miss the coloring and cuddling. You are smart to savor it while you can. I hope your health worries continue to heal. Look forward to another visit next week.
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Thank you, I think it’s going to be a lovely link. I’ve discovered some fabulous new blogs to read, yours included, too.
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Welcome to the coffee share!
Sorry to hear about the MRI; I’m fairly claustrophobic, so I definitely sympathize. Glad you got through it though, and hoping that all is well.
Freya sounds like a delight. 🙂
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Thank you for running it. I’ve had a lovely time reading through everyone’s posts. Such a great idea.
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🙂 Thanks! It’s a fun link-up, and I enjoy reading everyone’s posts on the weekends I can.
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Nice to meet you, Tara. I’m quite new here myself and just starting to get to know “the regulars”. Do take the time with your little one. I’m positive you’ve heard it a million times but it really does go by so fast! MRIs are definitely intimidating. Had one for my neck and do tell, how are you supposed to NOT swallow for 15 minutes? Quasi-impossible!
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Hi Dale, thank you for stopping by. It’s such a great link up. I’ve read some lovely posts this week. I hope to have more time to comment this weekend. Your MRI sounds awful, how on earth did you manage it?
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Was tough, that’s for sure!
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