Baby loss, Blogging, friendship

For light and love…

Trigger warning: Baby loss.
In the year and a bit that I have been blogging, I have made several friends – most of them bloggers themselves.

I have learned so much about life and living from these talented, courageous, supportive, funny, adventurous and thoughtful women. Through their posts they let me into their worlds, sharing the good, bad and everything in between.

I know it might seem odd that I consider people I have not met friends – not “internet friends” or “online friends” simply friends – but having lived in different places over the years I’m used to hardly ever seeing people I have connected with, if at all (including family members). It doesn’t make them any less important to me. And with people I have met online it’s just the other way around; we are friends who might one day actually meet.

Or not.

I’m not sure it makes a difference. In fact, I know it doesn’t.

Something recently happened to one of my friends, something awful and unexpected, tragic and heartbreaking.

Her beautiful daughter was stillborn at 40 + 3.

It was a sharp reminder, once again, that bad things happen to good people. However, what I have realised in the nearly two weeks since, is that while there might be no way to stop the bad, good people have a way of letting their light and love shine even in the darkest of times.

I have wanted to blog but I didn’t know what to say – maybe because there is nothing that I can say  – but Mands is somehow finding the words. She has decided to continue blogging, not just as a way to help herself but also so that she might be able to support others.

Maybe, as her friend, my role is not so much about writing but reading and offering support if she needs it.

With much love to Mands and Tom.


10 thoughts on “For light and love…”

  1. Her pieces have been beautiful. I was heartbroken to read her news.
    I was also concerned for you too, wondering how the news had affected you. Both of you being in my thoughts a lot.
    I’d only just started connecting with Mands at the very end of her pregnancy but the news hurt me to my very core. So hard when the only thing you can offer is the love and compassion of one mother to another.


    1. Thank you, Clare. The “adventurous” I mention is definitely you 🙂 It didn’t feel right to carry on without saying something. I checked that Mands didn’t mind first as I didn’t want to add to her upset. She was worried that her posts might upset me. I know people moan about blogging and bloggers but I wish they could see this side. I really am glad to know so many fine people. xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my goodness did this post bring a big lump to my throat! Firstly, can I please send a massive hug to your brave friend Mands. I have lost 2 babies myself, but earlier on, and that was difficult enough! The pain never goes, but you do learn to live with it, and in time, make peace! I can only imagine what it must be like later on.
    There’s a wonderful charity called ‘Saying Goodbye’ who are truly amazing. If you’ve not heard of them, I really recommend taking a look!
    Situations like this test us all to the very core of our beings, and it’s when we find out the true strength we have within!
    Sending strength, hugs and love xx


    1. I’m so sorry for your losses. I’ve just had a look at that charity’s website and it really does look amazing. I will be adding them to my links. Thank you for taking the time to comment.


  3. Gosh! I wondered if you were ok especially when there was no photo on Sunday. That is such tragic news, bless her! As a newbie blogger, I am amazed by this whole community of lovely people rallying around each other, I mentioned once that I hadn’t had a great week and was overwhelmed by the response. I hope you are ok too Tara xxx


    1. Thanks Lisa. Yes, I hope Mands feels the love for her. Such an amazing community. I’m glad they came through for you too.

      I’ll be back this Sunday with a photo (or two).

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Thankyou for this post, it means a lot to me and Tom x

    …and you bet one day we’ll meet up, I’ll bring cake! 😀


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