Baby loss, MySundayPhoto, Photos, Random nonsense

My Sunday Photo – week 1 – An Animal Tale.

Mighty Matilda.

Tildy Mouse

“Quick! Come here,” my husband yelled from the living room.

I dropped what I was doing and raced in – or as quickly as a large pregnant woman could race – to find him sitting next to Matilda’s cage, peering inside.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I think she has a lump,” he said, clearly worried.

Always a friendly hamster, we easily got her out, turned her over and indeed there was a big lump that hadn’t been there before. She was getting old for a hamster and we both looked at each other, fearing her time had come without actually saying it. After an anxious night I took her to the vet, braced for the fact that she probably wouldn’t be coming home again.

At this point you might be thinking ‘it’s sad, yes, but it’s just a hamster’ and once upon a time I thought the same but Matilda was different. You see, Matilda helped to mend my broken heart.

After I lost my first and second pregnancies I felt empty, both physically and mentally. My heart had fractured and it felt like too much of a risk to ever care about anything again.

And then I got Matilda.

Just a hamster, I thought. How attached can you really get? It’s not like a cat or a dog, which became so much a part of the family, it’s a hamster. It’s hard to explain but, although I didn’t realise it, the routine of caring for her; cleaning her out, feeding her, brushing her Farah Fawcett like mane, which she tolerated in the same good natured way she did everything, finding her little treats or toys to keep her entertained did something. Something entirely unexpected. Something good. Something wonderful.

Of course she wasn’t a replacement for a baby (nothing can ever replace lost babies and nor would we want it too), but she was part of my healing process – and for that I will be forever grateful.

But there I was, a few months from finally realising my dream of becoming a mum, and at the vets. Ready to say goodbye.

“Well,” he said, after examining her, and not in the downbeat way I was ready for. “I have some good news. Matilda is, in fact… Matthew.” Huh? My fuzzy pregnant brain was thinking, is that some sort of condition? A different species? All the time the vet was looking at me, expectantly, and then it finally twigged.

“She’s a boy!?! The lump is her…boy bits?” I managed, trailing off slightly at the end. I could tell he was thinking “and this person going to be a parent soon?”

“Yes, indeed,” he said.

And so Matilda (we never did manage to stop calling him that) lived on. He got to meet Freya, which was important to me – although every time she cried, which was all the time, he retreated to his deluxe wooden hamster house at speed.

This photo was my screen saver for such a long time and I still smile everytime I look at it.



23 thoughts on “My Sunday Photo – week 1 – An Animal Tale.”

  1. Aw he’s so cute! I had two hamsters and im afraid to say loved them so much more than the dog ! They’re fabtastic animals and you’re not alone I thought my hamster had cancer but lo and behold he just had very big boy bits!! Haha xx


    1. Aww it’s so hard isn’t it? I like to think Matilda had a good life while s/he was with us. Such lovely pets though (when they are not embarrassing you at the vets :)). Thanks for commenting.


    1. Thank you Adam. Sorry for the delay in approving your comment, it had gone into spam for some reason. Cutie is a great name for a hamster 🙂


  2. Pets are family and I’m glad Matilda’s story had such a funny twist to it! So sorry for your losses too…I’m due to be an Auntie at Easter after 2 weren’t-to-bes so I know it’s heartbreaking and scary and stressful. Glad you got your sunshine x


    1. Thank you for your lovely comment, Lisa. Matilda was pure joy. I was an auntie long before I was a mum, it’s a fun role. I found what the parents really like is when you buy very loud toys they can’t switch off. Hehe!


  3. The Mother says – I was in floods reading this at the beginning. A pet is a pet regardless of what type of animal and they instinctively know when they are needed. I don’t care what people say as they are such a comfort to you when you’re going through troubles. Then I started giggling………….. your comment about the vet had me laughing so much, especially your comment about being so very obviously pregnant!! What a lovely post. One of most loveliest posts I’ve read in a long time :0 #animaltales


    1. What a lovely comment, thank you. I’m so pleased you liked it. And you are so right about their instinct, Matilda really did seem to know. She was a lovely girl/boy 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s