“Look Freya, Oscar has sent us a beautiful rainbow,” I said before picking her up and pointing out of the window.
I have done this several times before but, for the first time, she actually focused on the colours and let out an excited stream of toddler babble.
Even though she doesn’t understand yet, I always explain that Oscar is her big brother who lives in the sky and sends us rainbows so that we remember him and smile.
And I do smile when I think of him, now at least.
Today marks the start of Baby Loss Awareness Week in this country, which is aimed at highlighting what is still a little talked about issue. It culminates next Wednesday, which is Baby Loss Awareness Day, and also happens to be the third anniversary of when I lost my first pregnancy. I was just 13 weeks along when, at the dating scan, we discovered the baby, whom we later named Oscar, had a rare and fatal condition called Anencephaly (I have written about it here). I didn’t know it was Baby Loss Awareness Day until much later but, rather selfishly, I felt comforted that on the worst day of my life people were also commemorating the worst day of their lives, too.
This year at 7pm people are being invited to light a candle for at least an hour to create a Wave of Light to remember all the babies that have died during pregnancy, at, during or after birth.
If you happen to live in Norfolk, a special service is also being held, for people of all faiths, on Sunday at Greenacres Woodland Burials, which is where Oscar was buried with other poorly babies.
Led by the Chaplaincy from the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital, the service is open to all parents and families who have lost a baby or child, no matter how long ago.
To reserve a place, please contact 01603 811556 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.